Sports Thanksgiving

With another Thanksgiving last week, “The Grandeur” learned there are many great things about sports we should be thankful. Here are some of them.
Chips and dip. Possibly the greatest snack while watching sports on the television. Salty tortilla chips and burning hot salsa which leads you to consume plenty of drinks. Then you wash down the burning causing the need for more salsa, a vicious but oddly pleasing cycle.
The three-point line. Until the advent of this in basketball, the little man had a smaller role in the game. A great invention for the skilled but undersized among us.
Heroes. From Mickey Mantle to Michael Jordan to Wayne Gretzky. The people we watch as we sit on the floor in front of the television that brings us pride, joy and hope. We are frozen every time we watch them play because we wish we could be them just for one game.
Quarterback rating. So this little formula is absolutely stupid, but it does provide one great thing for the sports fan. Something that is completely useless to argue about just for the sake of arguing.
Tape. Their have been few moments in the history of sports where this great piece of athletic trainer equipment hasn’t been used. It fixes just about anything in a hurry, so just “tape it up.”
Jackie Robinson. He changed not only sports but American society. That’s about three turkeys’ worth to be thankful for.
The forward pass. Possibly the greatest invention since, well, ever. It revolutionized the game and brought us all the excitement that is associated with football today. Just someone please remind Norte Dame’s secondary of this rule.
Big-screen high-definition televisions. The picture on those things are so sharp, its incredible. The government should set up a fund providing one to every crazy sports fan.
Athletic-support underwear. Little needs to be said of this priceless piece of equipment.
Thanksgiving weekend football. You stuff yourself with turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie and then plant yourself on the couch to do nothing but watch four straight afternoons of football.
The backyard. So many times when a dad or mom took their little one out their at a young age to begin the first steps of learning the game. The foundation for so many great ones.
Penalty flags. Back in the old days of football, whistles blew the play dead and horns signaled fouls. But the problem was that they sounded too similar causing confusion. As much as we hate to see them come out, those yellow handkerchiefs are a welcome addition.
Southern California cheerleaders. Beautiful California girls in those classic all-white at a football game, a wonderful combination.
Sniffing salt. After a vicious head collision talks your favorite star out cold, nothing brings him back into action quicker than a good whiff of these little puppies.
Bulletin-board material. Nothing rallies troops better than the one team telling the other team in the newspaper that they could get beat by a bunch of choir boys.