Here's To You Crazy, Obsessed Sports Guy

The dedicated, the passionate, the devoted, the committed, the devout, the loyal, the fanatical. The terms that describes America’s greatest and all they stand for. So here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy who sits outside all night to be the first one to get tickets to the big game. You’ve got you’re tent, your snacks and you’re flashlight because by gosh, you’re going to that game. You’re also the guy that will camp out all night to get a new video game as well.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy that has that outstanding memory. Not the memory that lets you remember your bank pin number or that your wife wanted you to buy “diced” pecans. But the memory that remembers Don Larsen’s perfect game in game five of the 1956 World Series against the Brooklyn Dodgers (and the fact that Larsen was journeyman who played for seven different teams over 14 seasons and only a career record of 81-91), and every single player on the great 1960’s Celtic championship teams.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy that paints his chest in team colors. You do it when it is cold, hot, raining, snowing and you do it when you probably shouldn’t because you’ve got a little too much to love around the stomach area. You know the value of team work, because if you’re not their bringing that big letter “L”, you’re not the Colts, you’re just something that people sleep on.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy who is legendary on E-Bay for your souvenir purchases. A Mickey Mantle rookie card, Mario Lemieux ice skate, a Tiger Woods golf ball, Jordan shoes from every single year and yes, dirt from Wrigley Field.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy who buys the package deal for every sport on your satellite television. You worked those extra two hours a week to afford those deals and you’re going to enjoy every minute of it. 15 football games on the weekend and 70 basketball and baseball games during the week. You watch them all because every game deserves a least one glimpse.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy who names his kids after favorite athletes. Gregory Emmitt Smith, Dylan “Nicklaus” Barnett and Ripken Jennings. Your kid will never know why he is named after a sports star that played 30 years before he was ever born. But when you yell out his full name is anger, you’ll yell it with respect to your past heroes.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy who believes in the supernatural. You sit at the spot every time in the bar to watch the game. You pray for fumbles and double plays. You even yell at the television thinking those guys 2,000 miles away will really be motivated by your speech.
Here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy. You’re the guy who checks the sports scores and stories first thing in the morning. Their might have been a huge train wreck, the stock market might have gone down 327 points or Britney Spears might have had another baby but you didn’t know it until after 7:30. So here’s to you crazy, obsessed sports guy because reading this column and other great ones like it is a heckuva lot more important than any Senator race.